Barbara Stewart

Call Me When… You are identifying successors, need to align a leadership team, or integrate additions to your team.

There is no “I” in team. It is a phrase often cited and not attributed to anyone. So, I am going out on a limb to say there is an “I” in team and it is the most critical aspect of a high-performing team. No, this is not a reference to Michael Jordan’s quote of “there is an “i” in win.” Common knowledge is that a team of self-focused “I” performers does not make for a high-performing team, because they never become a team. What do I mean that “I” is the most critical aspect?

The first bit of concrete feedback I recall receiving in the workplace was from a fellow colleague, a much more experienced person than I. The feedback was not part of a review, he was not my supervisor, but someone I worked with daily. I don’t know what prompted him to share the feedback.  I am so grateful that he did. His exact words escape me, but the sum of the feedback focused on my lack of warmth and the perception of being an “ice maiden”. I was shocked.

Stress. You know the feeling, the drop or churning in your stomach, the sweaty palms, the flushing of the face. Full-on signs that something or someone has just sent you on a path of worry, frustration, fear, or panic. While not always appreciated, our bodies send us instantaneous signals of our state of being. The trouble with these reactions is that they served us well when we needed to outrun the saber tooth tiger. Most of us are not living in that environment today, yet our brains have not evolved with our change in circumstances. The outsized reaction is referred to as an Amygdala highjack. This is where Adam Smith’s wisdom can help us evolve beyond our caveman days. But we have to get to that place to step outside ourselves. How do we do that?

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. George Bernard Shaw, a famous Irish playwright is credited with this quote which so aptly captures the issue. Communication is the most common organizational challenge cited by clients, whether as part of a team or as individual leaders. Why is that? Let’s start by understanding what communication means. The Latin base of the word is communicare, which means to share. To share something, you must hold or know it, and recognize that sharing will benefit you and the other party.  It then needs to be presented in a way that others will want to partake or engage. If the other party is not interested or does not know why they should be, the message will fall on deaf ears. This gives us three distinct components necessary for the start of effective communication.